Emphasis on “happy”. Because who would be a better example than Liam
of how to be happy? Despite all her limitations and disabilities, she
was a happy girl almost all the time. She did not need big reasons.
Small things here and now made her happy: yummy food, monkey on TV, a
computer game, company (and food), the outdoors (and food)....the list
is long. But most of all, Liam did not do the complicated calculations
(we do) of who were her friends (or rather, why she didn’t have friends
like most teenagers), how difficult it was to hold her body upright, why
she’s stuck in a wheelchair while everybody else is walking/running.
Some may say she didn’t do those calculations because of her limited
brain activity. Maybe. But I think otherwise: she was JUST HAPPY TO BE
HERE. She was happy with herself and who she was and it reflected on
everybody around her.
Don’t get the wrong impression. There were many unhappy - not to say difficult - moments (and hours into the night and weeks). Right next to her disability, as if that wasn’t enough, she experienced a lot of pain, upset stomach, chronic constipation....alright, we’ll stop here. The list is long. But the point is that regardless of all those and despite them, Liam was a happy person.
Which begs the question: If such a disabled and disadvantaged girl was able to be happy with who she was, why do the rest of us need a reason to be happy? We’re not happy because of employment (or lack of), money, a bunch of disorders (food, drugs....you know, the usual list), family, society, etc. Once again, the list is long. For a matter of fact, the list might be endless. We can find any reason in the world to be unhappy and stick to it, insist on it. If you think about it, there are people who have more than enough (good things) and they’re still unhappy. People are bitching and complaining and are blaming the world.
The flip side is that we need no reason at all to be happy. We can simply decide that we’re happy regardless of the results. Shit will still happen: loss of employment, illness, coping with your own weaknesses, and the rest of life events. But at the end of the day, you have to answer two questions:
1. What is happiness (to me)?
2. Am I happy?
Nobody can ask those questions for you and nobody can answer them for you. There can be many “helpers” to get to happiness - love, family, community, even-money, beer-must-be-on-any-happy-list. But ultimately these are just tools. Ultimately you’d have to make a choice whether to be happy or not.
Just to be sure we understand each other, being happy does not necessarily mean to get up with a smile on your face every morning or to walk around all jolly. Happiness means that you can look inside of yourself at any given time and accept who you are. That’s the gist of it. It does not mean that you don’t need to improve yourself, but acceptance at any given point is the key to this whole talk. And I’m pretty sure somewhere in the above I should have inserted that you better be happy with what you have than bitch about what you don’t have - another key ingredient. (But I’m a poor writer and a lazy one too, so you get a fair argument written poorly....sorry.)
And if you don’t know how to be happy, how to break the ice - go ask kids like Liam. Go spend time with such incredible people. They will teach you - I guarantee it (but remember, at the end of the day it’s up to you to be happy).
Alright, enough with that blah-blah. This lecture ended up a lot longer than I intended, which does not make me happy....oops....
That’s Liam’s legacy.
Don’t get the wrong impression. There were many unhappy - not to say difficult - moments (and hours into the night and weeks). Right next to her disability, as if that wasn’t enough, she experienced a lot of pain, upset stomach, chronic constipation....alright, we’ll stop here. The list is long. But the point is that regardless of all those and despite them, Liam was a happy person.
Which begs the question: If such a disabled and disadvantaged girl was able to be happy with who she was, why do the rest of us need a reason to be happy? We’re not happy because of employment (or lack of), money, a bunch of disorders (food, drugs....you know, the usual list), family, society, etc. Once again, the list is long. For a matter of fact, the list might be endless. We can find any reason in the world to be unhappy and stick to it, insist on it. If you think about it, there are people who have more than enough (good things) and they’re still unhappy. People are bitching and complaining and are blaming the world.
The flip side is that we need no reason at all to be happy. We can simply decide that we’re happy regardless of the results. Shit will still happen: loss of employment, illness, coping with your own weaknesses, and the rest of life events. But at the end of the day, you have to answer two questions:
1. What is happiness (to me)?
2. Am I happy?
Nobody can ask those questions for you and nobody can answer them for you. There can be many “helpers” to get to happiness - love, family, community, even-money, beer-must-be-on-any-happy-list. But ultimately these are just tools. Ultimately you’d have to make a choice whether to be happy or not.
Just to be sure we understand each other, being happy does not necessarily mean to get up with a smile on your face every morning or to walk around all jolly. Happiness means that you can look inside of yourself at any given time and accept who you are. That’s the gist of it. It does not mean that you don’t need to improve yourself, but acceptance at any given point is the key to this whole talk. And I’m pretty sure somewhere in the above I should have inserted that you better be happy with what you have than bitch about what you don’t have - another key ingredient. (But I’m a poor writer and a lazy one too, so you get a fair argument written poorly....sorry.)
And if you don’t know how to be happy, how to break the ice - go ask kids like Liam. Go spend time with such incredible people. They will teach you - I guarantee it (but remember, at the end of the day it’s up to you to be happy).
Alright, enough with that blah-blah. This lecture ended up a lot longer than I intended, which does not make me happy....oops....
That’s Liam’s legacy.
No comments:
Post a Comment