A recent podcast that I listened to was so interesting that I'm sharing it everywhere I can: via mail, my Facebook account, and now here too.
How Biology Explains Warfare & Terrorism
While this podcast surely talks about terrorism and how we might stop it, it goes way beyond that. It explains why we are the way we are - from the very very start. Well, I don't want to spoil it with my own words. You'd just have to listen to it yourself. I'll just end with this: It really doesn't matter what your political view is.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Happy birthday?
Today is Liam's 16th birthday. Or should I say "would have been her 16th birthday"? And this is the first birthday that we're "celebrating" (yeah, right) without her. For a matter of fact, last year was not much of a celebration either. While we look very happy, she wasn't - to say the least.
Liam never made a big deal of birthdays. Even when she was still healthy, the cake and the pizza and the singing was all fun. But, unlike most kids, she didn't care much for a present or for the day itself. Once the pizza and cake and singing was over, she wanted to go back to her regular, every day choices: play on the computer, watch TV, go for a walk, etc. She lived the moment without any calculations from the past or expectations of the future.
How it all started
Liam was born in Athens Regional. We lived in Bishop, GA at the time, in a 2nd story apartment. On the ground floor below us were 15 horses. The neighbors were horses too. Liam was two weeks late and this is where we spent the time - pacing the pastures. Even when there we thought "here we go" they sent us back home from the hospital on a Friday night. As usual, I'm with the easy part. I'm just the writer here and back then I was just the driver and the "coach". Rachel was the one with the pain and the never ending pregnancy.
The following day, Saturday, March 11 1995, we made it back to the hospital. Over the many afternoon hours it was discovered that the baby, Liam, was not heading straight down like normal babies, but tucked her chin and turned her head to the left. In retrospect and several months later, once we knew Liam better, we made the connection: she was having seizures in the womb. Anyway, after so many hours of unsuccessful attempts by the midwives to help the baby out, the Dr's got involved. Within a short time Rachel had a C-section. Only then she got some relief from the pains. (it is important to note that Liam's many disabilities were NOT related to the long labor or the birth itself.)
I met Liam for the first time outside the OR. We bonded strongly instantly and that bond lasted until her last breath. When I first held Liam in my arms I didn't notice anything unusual. What do I know about babies? It's only later that evening when the Dr checked in and gave us "the news". Liam had difficulties breathing at first and was heaving seizures right away. So she started it all in ICU. And that's how it all started.
So anyway, while all this is going on, maybe I should mentioned that:
1. I just got a new job a few months earlier.
2. We needed to vacate the horse farm apartment in Bishop. Our lease ran out and we were gonna move to Atlanta (regardless of Liam).
3. The house we bought in Atlanta, our current house, was hardly livable, not to mention bringing a newborn in.
All that was happening BEFORE we knew anything about Liam. It's hard enough as it was. Now try to imagine adding a difficult birth plus the new complications. Life was just fun - and that was before I discovered good beer and golf.
After three days the Athens Regional Drs wisely admitted this is too much for them and they moved Liam in this special ambulance to Egleston. (It was a complete coincidence that our new-old house is just down the road from the hospital.) In Egleston they did an MRI and discovered the problem right away: a malformation in the left side of her brain. This malformation caused seizures - 60-100 of them a day.
Liam spent the first 3 weeks of her life in NICU while we:
* Learned about the new situation.
* Learned what a hospital is.
* Learned about formula, oxygen, heartbeat, medications, etc.
* Vacated the horse apartment.
* Renovated the new house.
It was a challenging time, to say the least, but we also met what would be part of our life for the next 15 years: a wonderful community support. People who hardly knew us, from either my new job or the new neighborhood, helped in any way they could. So we knew we moved to the right place early on.
But we were still not living here. Until the house was [minimally] ready and while Liam was in NICU, we stayed with Savta and Poppi. I was going to work every day, then working on the drywall of the new house, then showed up at 8-9 PM in the sterile NICU covered with sheet-rock dust.
I think basically that was it. Not too much, was it?
 |
| It's good to be king....15th birthday in TICU, March 11 2010 |
Liam never made a big deal of birthdays. Even when she was still healthy, the cake and the pizza and the singing was all fun. But, unlike most kids, she didn't care much for a present or for the day itself. Once the pizza and cake and singing was over, she wanted to go back to her regular, every day choices: play on the computer, watch TV, go for a walk, etc. She lived the moment without any calculations from the past or expectations of the future.
How it all started
Liam was born in Athens Regional. We lived in Bishop, GA at the time, in a 2nd story apartment. On the ground floor below us were 15 horses. The neighbors were horses too. Liam was two weeks late and this is where we spent the time - pacing the pastures. Even when there we thought "here we go" they sent us back home from the hospital on a Friday night. As usual, I'm with the easy part. I'm just the writer here and back then I was just the driver and the "coach". Rachel was the one with the pain and the never ending pregnancy.
The following day, Saturday, March 11 1995, we made it back to the hospital. Over the many afternoon hours it was discovered that the baby, Liam, was not heading straight down like normal babies, but tucked her chin and turned her head to the left. In retrospect and several months later, once we knew Liam better, we made the connection: she was having seizures in the womb. Anyway, after so many hours of unsuccessful attempts by the midwives to help the baby out, the Dr's got involved. Within a short time Rachel had a C-section. Only then she got some relief from the pains. (it is important to note that Liam's many disabilities were NOT related to the long labor or the birth itself.)
I met Liam for the first time outside the OR. We bonded strongly instantly and that bond lasted until her last breath. When I first held Liam in my arms I didn't notice anything unusual. What do I know about babies? It's only later that evening when the Dr checked in and gave us "the news". Liam had difficulties breathing at first and was heaving seizures right away. So she started it all in ICU. And that's how it all started.
So anyway, while all this is going on, maybe I should mentioned that:
1. I just got a new job a few months earlier.
2. We needed to vacate the horse farm apartment in Bishop. Our lease ran out and we were gonna move to Atlanta (regardless of Liam).
3. The house we bought in Atlanta, our current house, was hardly livable, not to mention bringing a newborn in.
All that was happening BEFORE we knew anything about Liam. It's hard enough as it was. Now try to imagine adding a difficult birth plus the new complications. Life was just fun - and that was before I discovered good beer and golf.
After three days the Athens Regional Drs wisely admitted this is too much for them and they moved Liam in this special ambulance to Egleston. (It was a complete coincidence that our new-old house is just down the road from the hospital.) In Egleston they did an MRI and discovered the problem right away: a malformation in the left side of her brain. This malformation caused seizures - 60-100 of them a day.
Liam spent the first 3 weeks of her life in NICU while we:
* Learned about the new situation.
* Learned what a hospital is.
* Learned about formula, oxygen, heartbeat, medications, etc.
* Vacated the horse apartment.
* Renovated the new house.
It was a challenging time, to say the least, but we also met what would be part of our life for the next 15 years: a wonderful community support. People who hardly knew us, from either my new job or the new neighborhood, helped in any way they could. So we knew we moved to the right place early on.
But we were still not living here. Until the house was [minimally] ready and while Liam was in NICU, we stayed with Savta and Poppi. I was going to work every day, then working on the drywall of the new house, then showed up at 8-9 PM in the sterile NICU covered with sheet-rock dust.
I think basically that was it. Not too much, was it?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Half anniversary
These picture are making me sad....the look in her eyes ....an intelligent and so lively look. When I'm looking at such picture it's still hard for me to believe she's not with us.
Who are you and do you have food?
But they also make me happy. Just to remember and smile..... then cry. You knew what was coming next: EEMA, I'M HUNGRY.
But, e-nuf with the sentiments. Now it's time to be happy again. Would have been Liam's wish on a Friday afternoon, as she gets off the school bus - that I crack open a beer and we "drink together". So I really don't have much choice here.
Cheers.
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