Denial? Who, me?

Pain and sorrow
I recently heard an Israeli young footballer (that's soccer player, you ignorant Americans) talks about a recent loss of his dad, also an ex-player, to a motorcycle accident.  The youngster commented that "the sorrow and pain will remain with him forever".  It's the forever part which got my attention.  I feel sorry for him and wish that he'll find that the pain and the sorrow do not HAVE TO linger forever.  We can cherish the memories, the love, the laughs - as well as the bad times - without surrounding ourselves with the cloud of sorrow and sadness.  Why can't we put these two aside and move on without them?  I know, I know, you're right:  easier said than done.  Well, here I am.  I'm saying it and doing it all the same.  Too many of us fall into the sadness & sorrow & pain trap.  Too many find it difficult to let go of.  Too many CHOOSE to stay in it.  Well, not me, sorry.  I mean, I hope that I'm not in it too.  Right now I don't feel any of those. 

Loss
While each one of us copes differently with pain ans sorrow, we all have a lot in common when it comes to the loss itself.  There are many types of loss:  death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, etc., etc., etc.  The list is long.  Really, Asher?  Do you compare layoffs to the death of a loved one?  Absolutely.  A loss is a loss is a loss, and since I [unfortunately] experienced both too many times, I feel qualified to testify.  So Asher, did you feel pain and sorrow associated with any of your many losses?  Absolutely, but none of those lingered for long.  While I can't change the loss - it will remain that way forever - I can change how I feel about the loss.  I believe that there's no single feeling that we cannot recover our soul from. 

Summary - or maybe this is just the beginning?
Where does all this blah-blah takes us?  Back to the top.  To the question about the "forever" statement.  Somehow for me the joy of life puts the pain & sorrow in the box where they belong and I don't suffer from them.  It just happens naturally for me.  I'm not sure how or why.  I loved both my parents very much, but he brief pain I felt when they died never lingered.  It's very similar with Liam now.  Do I feel sad at times?  Sure, but only very briefly, and never any pain.  I often ask myself if something is wrong with me.  How come I don't feel any pain when I lost her, part of me, the sunshine of my life?  I don't know.  Maybe I'm emotionally disabled when it comes to those things.  Do I wish she was still here?  While I miss her terribly (and some tears are wetting me as I'm writing these words), nature took its course and I'm ok with it.  There were physical reasons why Liam died.  It was the most painful decision to let her go and stop the suffering (here are some more tears again), but it's done.  I'm accepting it now and I'm not looking back.  Not because "there's no good in it"; not because I'm forcing myself not to deal with the past.  Simply because it is what it is.  I fully accept it.  And that, right there, is the separation between the loss and the pain+sorrow package. 

So this is not really a summary, but rather a fresh beginning of a new way.  It's possible that months or years from now I'll read this blog and say "bot, was I in denial back then".  Maybe.  But that's how I feel now.  No pain, no sorrow.

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Egypt
Many people asked me recently what are my thoughts about Egypt.  Well, just like the rest of the world, I have no idea where all this will end.  But I'm pretty sure it will not end in an immediate, lovely, peaceful democracy.  Here's why.  Really there are several outcomes:

• Either Mubarak  gets his act together and restore order, which means many many will die.  Or...
• He'd be ousted.  In that case there are severl options too:
• The military will take over and restore order.  Again, many will die in the process and eventually the status-quo will remain (for the people).
• There will be some interim government until there are elections. 
• Well, what abut elections? 
  
• While we, in the west, know how to appreciate democracy, not every society in the world is ready for it.  Egypt, for example, is one of them.  The people do not know how to live under a democratic system, how to elect officials, how to obey the law peacefully.  For generations upon generations these people were ruled and led by power.  This is not to say they can't learn how to form democracy and maintain it, but it cannot be an overnight process, like the demonstrators demand and the western media suggest.
• There's no one or even two major parties in Egypt.  Democratic elections  probably means that there would be no clear cut winners.  Any government formed would be a coalition of several parties.  And for a young democracy that could mean more chaos for the first few years (if not decades).
• The door is open for the Muslim Brotherhood, the largest party among the opposition, to be a major force in the new government, maybe even lead the coalition (and the country).
• But above all those points the question remains:  Whatever the outcome of all this is, then what?  How will that change the future of Egypt?  Remember, the chaos is not just a thirst for democracy.  It's basically about economics, hunger, unemployment, poor education, poor health system, etc., etc., etc.  Well, whoever finds himself at the helm after the dust is settled down, it won't be easy for them to provide immediate solutions to these problems.  The country is too poor, too corrupt, too much populated for its resources.  So how come we never heard of Egypt's problems before?  Because the people had no voice and the dictatorship swept the problems under the rug.

And what should the US do?
Stay the hell out of it!!!!!  Don't show public support neither for the current regime nor for the people.  Just shut up and stay out of the way.  Here's why:

• If America supports the current regime and that regime is ousted, then we most likely ruin relations with the next regime.  And meanwhile, we look to the world as a bunch of greedy SOB's (which America is) to support Mubarak and oppress democracy.
• If, on the other hand, the US supports the demonstrators, then:
• If Mubarak overcomes, we lost an ally.
• If there are free elections, is the US okay with the fact the Muslim Brotherhood form the next government?  (A reminder:  the US supported free elections in the Gaza strip and Lebanon, both of which brought Hamas and Hizbullah to the governments, respectively.

There's nothing the US can do or say that make a lick of a difference.  Just stay out of it. 

Bottom line(s):  It's a complex, complex situation.  While many in the west cheer in solidarity with the freedom seeking Egyptians, there's really no easy solution here.  If the country was wealthy, like Saudi Arabia, Qatar or Kuwait - all wealthy dictatorships - I'm sure that people would have had less of a reason to voice themselves.  But under the current condition they live in, they felt they had to take action.  I applaud them for it.  I'm just not sure if at the end of the day the people will be happier than they were before it all started.  Meanwhile, we (the west) has to realize that what started now is just the beginning of what might be a long  process.  It's not gonna be fast and easy.  It is likely to get ugly before any good comes out of it.  For right now we just have to lay low and wait - since we can't help it anyway.