My Spin For Kids campaign. Thank you.
So, what are you saying, Asher, you never feel sadness?
Hmm,
I could continue on the thought of "an insensitive SOB", but I'll try
instead something perhaps a bit more sophisticated and probably above my
pay grade.
The damn squirrels in the back yard...
The
big questions (for me, at least) are: What is sadness? How do you
define it? How long does (or should) it last? How does it go away?
(Before you run to the dictionary to look it up, allow me to add that I
think the answer might be different for different people.)
Unfortunately, I don't know the answer to any of those. I mean, I can
probably speculate and give the so-called "common knowledge" answers,
but I don't think any of that is relevant. Wait, wait, wait - whattaya
mean they're irrelevant? Ok, here I go:
...throw all the cracked pecans straight on my back deck.
I think sadness might be an instinct reaction to a sudden and
unexpected some kind of loss (or a new reality). I also think that
sadness can be terminated/halted/altered within seconds simply using our
thought process. It's that simple - to me at least it is.
I
hate them. HATE???? Isn't that too strong of a word? Yup, absolutely. Sorry.
Of
course, it's not always as easy as it sounds. Interestingly, for me,
it's easier not to be sad when somebody dies than when somebody is
facing a terminal and incurable condition. As I already explained, to
me, when Steve Jobs revealed his illness and then lectured about death
itself it was a lot more sad than when he finally died.
I yell at them to stop, but either they don't understand
Hebrew, or they pretend to not understand Hebrew, or they just
outsmarting me...
So what about Liam? Weren't you sad to lose your own daughter?
Rather
than answer that with a yes/no, I will tell you this: When you learn
to accept life - and death - as part of nature, of our existence, as
part of this universe, then, well, you accept it all. Acceptance does
not mean suppression of feelings. However, it enables you to recognize
(life/death) and move on. Moving on, in this case, does not mean leaving
your loved ones behind and moving forward without them. I love Liam, I
always will. I miss her so much, I probably will continue to miss her
forever. Liam is with me at all times. But I can't find any sadness
within me. (Unfortunately, we're still missing the definition of
sadness....we might be going in circles here...)
...waiting for me to sweep the deck and then throwing more
stuff on it right away as soon as it's clean.
I'm
not sure if any of that makes any sense. Acceptance is something which
is difficult for me to explain. I don't know how I happen to "have
it". But I do know this: once you learn that you have it within you,
you stop labeling things as "shocking" or "sad" or "outrageous" etc.
You simply accept things (that you can't do anything about) as they
are. That includes death. It's just part of this world. Now, I'm not
saying I will never get sad again. I don't have a way of knowing that,
of course. But so far acceptance allowed me to cope with some of the
most difficult things a person might face in life.
Lastly, because of this acceptance, sometimes things that I say look
like I'm pretentious (in the best case) or that I'm just an insensitive
SOB (in the more ugly case). If you're still reading this blog, you
must have recognized by now that I'm truthful and honest. If you
didn't, I'm not sure what you're still doing here.
God, I hate them, I really do.
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